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| Is it already mid may? When did that happen, and where did the time go? Is it already time for class of 2008 to graduate?
Here I was sitting here the past hour, looking back to my older posts (some private, some public). I definitely have changed over the [short] years, and I probably am still changing. I realized that I don't write as much as I used to, and come 5 years later, I won't have anything to read about when I was 22+. So I decided to give Xanga another shot.
One thing I did notice, however, is that I've always trust issues. You can just see it all over my xanga posts - they're everywhere. Sort of annoying. I'll try to work on that.
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| It has been about a month since class of 2007 have graduated. Some of us has moved home, some remained around where we graduated, some are interested in more schooling, some are after work experience for whatever the reason is. Let that reason either be for money, for further education, or just to better themselves as a person.
Me? Well, for about good three weeks, I was searching left and right for a job that could possibly lead to a long-term career. I gota admit, I had over 6-7 interviews, out of all the offers given, I was stuck between the final two. Searching, interviewing, making your decision.. gave me a big emotional rollercoaster. Plus, it didn't help that I personally didn't know what I wanted to do in life.
Two weeks ago, I made my decision and I love my job so far. Yes, there are down times where I have absolutely nothing to do, but I took advantage of that time to do more research on my next 10 years. I picked up more interests, and have a better idea in what people call this "real life."
...to be continued. | | |
| July 2007.
Here I sit in front of a new macbook, as a fresh college graduate, in a new apartment, with a new [real] job, wondering why I had stopped writing down my thoughts. Many has changed since the last time I had typed an entry in Xanga. Seems so long ago when people used to "xanga," as it is now taken over by Facebook/Myspace.
I am not so sure if it is the transition into the "real world," but I am now realizing how one can never stop learning. Most importantly, I also realized that life is like a puzzle, where things just fit as you go along. Whether they're big pieces or small pieces, squared, or zigzagged, in the end, you have a the whole picture, master piece, your life.
Although irrelevant to what I have written so far, what I really wanted to write about tonight was the lingering and the "absent" presence of your first love. Whoever that first love was--that person who held your hand, who kissed you passionately, who laughed at your corniest jokes, who'd make you laugh when you're crying over something silly, who you'd chase around the house to give a fat kiss. Yeah, THAT person.
For those who are still experiecing that first love, I applaud you, and I wish you the best. For those who have left that first love behind, did we really leave that person behind? What about those things that we keep in our closet--letters, pictures, movie tickets, Tshirts, cards.. Do we still keep their things around because we secretly don't want to let go of the person? memories? Perhaps we are in some sort of denial.
I'd hate to conclude this entry with a big question mark in the air, but perhaps this may fit as one of the puzzle pieces in the end. | | |
| After finishing all six seasons of Sex&theCity, and long after thinking and analyzing about the way life should be.. well.. this is what I came up with:
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I can be loving, spunky, stubborn and as sassy as I can be. Most of the things that come out of my mouth are drenched with fobbiness and at times, sarcasm. Even though I sometimes act like I hate you, that's just my way of showing love. I'm a total sucker for celebrity gossip. I love fashion and putting old clothes & acceossories together. I also admire luxury cars & sport bikes, enough to hopefully own one of each someday. I want to experience everything and take as many chances as I can ever take, so I want to leave you with this:
don't be afraid to take chances. tell the truth. tell a lie. date someone totally wrong for you. say yes. say no. go on a world trip. throw the wildest party. be lazy. gain knowledge. try not to hate. spend all your cash. fall in love. get to know someone random. be spontaneous. say i love you. sing out loud. cry out loud. laugh at a stupid joke. do something way out of your line. set a goal. laugh til your stomach hurts. apologize. be independent. be dependent. tell someone how much they mean to you. tell someone that you just love the way they smile. tell someone that they can kiss your ass. sleep all day long. get fat. lose weight. scream at the top of your lungs. go skydiving. kiss with the passion.
just live. | | | |
| I admit, I just admire how Carrie (from sex&thecity) writes her column about her not-so-perfect relationships, sex, learned mistakes and daily lives of just.. ordinary women of New York, who I believe can represent how most women think across the world.
That got me to think..
How can you let go of the past if your past is present?
Anyways, I'm off to Palm Springs for the weekend. Ciao. | | |
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